Parenting
Reviled or Revered Career?
Sarah Rehfuss Bastian
While filing my local taxes I was confronted once again with a reoccurring issue that sadly speaks of the social norm.
“Name______________ S.S.#_________________ Occupation__________________
(If no earned income check reason why __ Disabled, __ Deceased, __ Homemaker”
(If no earned income check reason why __ Disabled, __ Deceased, __ Homemaker”
How is it possible that the role of being a stay-at-home parent has become so menial that it is vaguely described with the word “homemaker,” and categorized with deceased and disabled? Someone of foreign birth might look at the title of “homemaker” and easily mistake it for a person who builds houses. What exactly is a “homemaker?”
I turned to my dictionary next to get the standard definition of how society defines what I do. “Homemaker: noun -One who manages a household, especially as one's main daily activity.” (American Heritage Dictionary) In reality, the scope of skills and the range of jobs required to be a “homemaker” or stay-at-home parent are so numerous that this definition only barely scratches the surface in describing the true meaning of “Homemaker.”
After failing to find an adequate description for what I, and many millions of parents do every day, I began to be plagued by a deeper and more pressing question. When did the role of homemaker/parent become so trivial that a dictionary is nondescript, and my government doesn’t even recognize or respect it as a legitimate profession?
As I began to search for the answer to this question, I started to see a duality occur. On one hand many people said, “Parenting is the hardest and most important job there is”, and yet many parents are made to feel inadequate, socially and economically, if they choose this revered profession.
I’ve found, through much reading, that about the time that major advancements in technology began to appear in both England and North America, the role of “parent” began to diminish. I don’t believe that this was the fault of technology in and of itself, but rather the prevailing social mentality that began to develop over time.
Society in the 18th and 19th centuries in England and North America began to move from an agricultural- based to industrial based society. In a rural-centered society parents, family and small communities were the focal point. Many of these small communities were self-sufficient, and eagerly encouraged individuality and new ideas to help society run better, smoother, and more efficiently.
With the ushering in of an industrialized society came some groundbreaking technology to help ease people’s lives, but it also planted many notions that still survive today in how we view family, work, education, and communities. In an industrial society there was no longer a central place for the family. The crowded cities offered less family interaction with the introduction of factory work outside of the home, as well as compulsory education. The fabrics of family life and the importance of parenting began to tear, as the responsibility for raising children shifted from parents to government.
By the early twentieth century industrialization had a strong foothold in shaping society. It was around this time that governments began to feel it was their responsibility to hold the society together since the cohesiveness of the family unit had begun to deteriorate. The politicians began to develop ideas and ways to socially control the masses of people that were flocking to cities to find work since the family-based agricultural businesses were no longer very profitable.
John Dewey in 1896 said “independent self-reliant people are a counterproductive anachronism in the collective society of the future.” In 1906 Edward Roth wrote in his Manifesto entitled Social Control “plans are underway to replace family, community and church with propaganda, mass-media and education…people are only little plastic lumps of dough.”
And indeed, the social culture has gravitated over the past century to deem these ideas as normal and acceptable. With the introduction of many unnecessary medical interventions in family planning, pregnancy, and birth, along with compulsory schooling, parents now believe that they are not capable of having, raising or teaching children without the “help” or advice from some so-called professional.
So how do we begin to reclaim parenting as a revered and respected profession? Is there positive support for the stay-at-home parent? Are there organizations that believe that parenting is a revered profession? The answers I found to these questions were very encouraging. There are numerous sites on the internet of magazines, journals, books, and activism groups that encourage and empower stay-at-home parents. Here are just a few:
Magazines
Parenting With Spirit www.parentingwithspirit.com
At Home Mothers www.athomemothers.com
The Mother Magazine www.themothermagazine.co.uk
The Compleat Mother www.compleatmother.com
Pandora’s Box www.pandorasboxmagazine.com
Books
Being There: The Benefits of A Stay At Home Parent (Isabelle Fox)
The Assault on Parenthood (Dana Mack)
What’s A Smart Woman Like You Doing at Home? (Linda Burton)
Who Needs Parents? The Effects of Childcare and Early Education on Children in Britan and the USA (Patricia Morgan)
The Price of Motherhood (Ann Crittendon)
Our Babies, Ourselves (Meredith F. Small)
Associations and Organizations
Attachment Parenting International www.attachmentparenting.com
The Natural Child Project www.naturalchild.com
Watch Out For Children (motherhood coalition) www.watchoutforchildren.org
Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children www.atlc.org
Through the support from these types of resources, and the simple example of our lives, maybe one day we can swing the pendulum back toward parenting truly being one of the most important and revered profession our society has to offer.
I turned to my dictionary next to get the standard definition of how society defines what I do. “Homemaker: noun -One who manages a household, especially as one's main daily activity.” (American Heritage Dictionary) In reality, the scope of skills and the range of jobs required to be a “homemaker” or stay-at-home parent are so numerous that this definition only barely scratches the surface in describing the true meaning of “Homemaker.”
After failing to find an adequate description for what I, and many millions of parents do every day, I began to be plagued by a deeper and more pressing question. When did the role of homemaker/parent become so trivial that a dictionary is nondescript, and my government doesn’t even recognize or respect it as a legitimate profession?
As I began to search for the answer to this question, I started to see a duality occur. On one hand many people said, “Parenting is the hardest and most important job there is”, and yet many parents are made to feel inadequate, socially and economically, if they choose this revered profession.
I’ve found, through much reading, that about the time that major advancements in technology began to appear in both England and North America, the role of “parent” began to diminish. I don’t believe that this was the fault of technology in and of itself, but rather the prevailing social mentality that began to develop over time.
Society in the 18th and 19th centuries in England and North America began to move from an agricultural- based to industrial based society. In a rural-centered society parents, family and small communities were the focal point. Many of these small communities were self-sufficient, and eagerly encouraged individuality and new ideas to help society run better, smoother, and more efficiently.
With the ushering in of an industrialized society came some groundbreaking technology to help ease people’s lives, but it also planted many notions that still survive today in how we view family, work, education, and communities. In an industrial society there was no longer a central place for the family. The crowded cities offered less family interaction with the introduction of factory work outside of the home, as well as compulsory education. The fabrics of family life and the importance of parenting began to tear, as the responsibility for raising children shifted from parents to government.
By the early twentieth century industrialization had a strong foothold in shaping society. It was around this time that governments began to feel it was their responsibility to hold the society together since the cohesiveness of the family unit had begun to deteriorate. The politicians began to develop ideas and ways to socially control the masses of people that were flocking to cities to find work since the family-based agricultural businesses were no longer very profitable.
John Dewey in 1896 said “independent self-reliant people are a counterproductive anachronism in the collective society of the future.” In 1906 Edward Roth wrote in his Manifesto entitled Social Control “plans are underway to replace family, community and church with propaganda, mass-media and education…people are only little plastic lumps of dough.”
And indeed, the social culture has gravitated over the past century to deem these ideas as normal and acceptable. With the introduction of many unnecessary medical interventions in family planning, pregnancy, and birth, along with compulsory schooling, parents now believe that they are not capable of having, raising or teaching children without the “help” or advice from some so-called professional.
So how do we begin to reclaim parenting as a revered and respected profession? Is there positive support for the stay-at-home parent? Are there organizations that believe that parenting is a revered profession? The answers I found to these questions were very encouraging. There are numerous sites on the internet of magazines, journals, books, and activism groups that encourage and empower stay-at-home parents. Here are just a few:
Magazines
Parenting With Spirit www.parentingwithspirit.com
At Home Mothers www.athomemothers.com
The Mother Magazine www.themothermagazine.co.uk
The Compleat Mother www.compleatmother.com
Pandora’s Box www.pandorasboxmagazine.com
Books
Being There: The Benefits of A Stay At Home Parent (Isabelle Fox)
The Assault on Parenthood (Dana Mack)
What’s A Smart Woman Like You Doing at Home? (Linda Burton)
Who Needs Parents? The Effects of Childcare and Early Education on Children in Britan and the USA (Patricia Morgan)
The Price of Motherhood (Ann Crittendon)
Our Babies, Ourselves (Meredith F. Small)
Associations and Organizations
Attachment Parenting International www.attachmentparenting.com
The Natural Child Project www.naturalchild.com
Watch Out For Children (motherhood coalition) www.watchoutforchildren.org
Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children www.atlc.org
Through the support from these types of resources, and the simple example of our lives, maybe one day we can swing the pendulum back toward parenting truly being one of the most important and revered profession our society has to offer.
References
Odent, Michael. The Farmer and the Obstetrician. Free Association Books. 2002.
Crittern, Ann. The Price of Motherhood. Owl Books. 2002
John Taylor Gatto speech (excerpted) http://4brevard.com/choice/Public_Education.htm
Sarah Bastian is a 30-year-old stay-at-home mom to Ian (almost 3), and another blessed soul on the way in March 2004.
First printed in The Mother Magazine Winter 2004. Reprinted here with permission from The Mother Magazine. www.themothermagazine.co.uk
Odent, Michael. The Farmer and the Obstetrician. Free Association Books. 2002.
Crittern, Ann. The Price of Motherhood. Owl Books. 2002
John Taylor Gatto speech (excerpted) http://4brevard.com/choice/Public_Education.htm
Sarah Bastian is a 30-year-old stay-at-home mom to Ian (almost 3), and another blessed soul on the way in March 2004.
First printed in The Mother Magazine Winter 2004. Reprinted here with permission from The Mother Magazine. www.themothermagazine.co.uk