A Sacred Invitation

One of the most common areas I get questions on, in family constellation work, is about representation. "What's it like being a representative?"  "What do I have to do to be a good representative?" "Do I gain anything from being a representative?" Since constellation work is experiential it can often be a challenge to find the words to describe the experience of being a representative in a way that does it justice.  

Francesca Mason Boring, one of my teachers and mentors, likened representation in a constellation to being invited into someone's home. Entering into the "home" or energetic field as a representative of another is a sacred invitation where you are in service to the family or system of another person and their healing process.  It is valuable to enter this representation from a place of clarity, non-judgement and non-attachment. Just like any other skill, the more opportunities you have to connect in this way the easier it becomes to listen for the wisdom unfolding and the ability to distinguish between your own personal information and what is truly important to the constellation work being done. Since the physical body is the instrument used in representation, it is beneficial to acknowledge and honor when the body is physically or energetically tired by turning down an invitation to represent, in order to care for it.  

Just as you enter someone's home with awareness, leaving the space with care and reverence is just as relevant. As a guest, when you leave someone's home it makes sense to give your thanks and leave everything that belongs to that person there. Comparably, at the end of a constellation, I ask people to silently acknowledge the person they have just represented while being mindful of leaving that representation with respect through the use of images.  

In my experience, the gifts of being a representative are numerous. I believe, though, that the opportunity to gain a unique perspective on life and the experience of Oneness we all share, stands above the rest.  For example, through representation a person may have the chance to represent being a mother, a father, a grandparent, a child, an ill individual, a victim, a perpetrator, or even a concept such as love or death. Some of the most impactful representations I have participated in were ones that helped me grow compassion and love for others, that I might not have had, by allowing me to understand life from a different perspective.

This month we will discuss the sacred invitation experienced through representation, and have the opportunity to practice becoming a clear representative in our mini-constellation exercise.