One of the most common areas I get questions on, in family constellation work, is about representation. "What's it like being a representative?" "What do I have to do to be a good representative?" "Do I gain anything from being a representative?" Since constellation work is experiential it can often be a challenge to find the words to describe the experience of being a representative in a way that does it justice.
Francesca Mason Boring, one of my teachers and mentors, likened representation in a constellation to being invited into someone's home. Entering into the "home" or energetic field as a representative of another is a sacred invitation where you are in service to the family or system of another person and their healing process. It is valuable to enter this representation from a place of clarity, non-judgement and non-attachment. Just like any other skill, the more opportunities you have to connect in this way the easier it becomes to listen for the wisdom unfolding and the ability to distinguish between your own personal information and what is truly important to the constellation work being done. Since the physical body is the instrument used in representation, it is beneficial to acknowledge and honor when the body is physically or energetically tired by turning down an invitation to represent, in order to care for it. Just as you enter someone's home with awareness, leaving the space with care and reverence is just as relevant. As a guest, when you leave someone's home it makes sense to give your thanks and leave everything that belongs to that person there. Comparably, at the end of a constellation, I ask people to silently acknowledge the person they have just represented while being mindful of leaving that representation with respect through the use of images. In my experience, the gifts of being a representative are numerous. I believe, though, that the opportunity to gain a unique perspective on life and the experience of Oneness we all share, stands above the rest. For example, through representation a person may have the chance to represent being a mother, a father, a grandparent, a child, an ill individual, a victim, a perpetrator, or even a concept such as love or death. Some of the most impactful representations I have participated in were ones that helped me grow compassion and love for others, that I might not have had, by allowing me to understand life from a different perspective. This month we will discuss the sacred invitation experienced through representation, and have the opportunity to practice becoming a clear representative in our mini-constellation exercise.
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Over the past month, I began a journey to discover the roots of my own name. I wondered if it might relate to the work that I am passionate about, and if there was someone similar to me in the past. Being the family genealogist, I explored my own lineage first, but found no close relatives in the last several generations that share my first name. Next, I examined the religious and cultural figures that bear the same name and surprisingly an enchanted trail emerged and I eagerly danced down the path reading about many fascinating women. Finally, one morning I arrived at the life story of a historical "Sar'h" whose calling in life so closely resembles my own, that I broke into tears of joy and recognition. I had found my namesake!
A name can provides a sense of connection, identity and often direction for a person. In fact, names are so important that many cultures include naming as a rite of passage in a child's life. For example, in the Ojibwe Nation, when a child is born, a grandparent or elder is asked to consider these questions: "What is it that this child needs? Who is this child?" and "What have they come to do?" Upon reflection and prayer, a name is finally born. In family constellation work, it is often meaningful to look at the prior generations and see who we share our name with. Asking questions about our namesake's joys and struggles can provide clues to our own hidden talents or challenges. In January, I spoke about the positive traits that we inherit from our ancestors such as skills, talents and ways of being. This month, I encourage you to journey into your past and research your namesake. Find out where your name comes from and what characteristics you share with that person. Finding Sar'h has been a beautiful reminder for me to honor and thank those who have come before us, for all that they have gifted us including their name. |
AuthorMy roles in life are many: woman, daughter, mother, partner, friend - and so many more. I am passionate about Systemic Constellations, genealogy, animism, healing, ritual, energy, art, and the places they meet in the world. Archives
February 2023
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